what i learned from a dog named Tiki
how a TikTok shifted my mindset about healing
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
—e.e. cummings—
A few things.
I’m a cat person. And I’m on TikTok a lot.
Somehow the algorithm brought me to Isabel Klee, a writer who fosters dogs through Muddy Paws Rescue in New York City. And when I found Isabel, I met Tiki.
Tiki came to Isabel’s home, scared and cowering. He was likely in an abusive situation when he was rescued. He stayed in his crate, barely ate, and lived in one room.
My heart couldn’t stand just how sad that pup seemed.
Animals get me. I cried when I saw the videos of Tiki. He seemed so scared…until he didn’t. Slowly, he began to warm up, come out to visit, eventually prancing around, cuddling, and exploring the backyard.
He became a friendly, brave dog. Or, rather, he returned to who he had always been.
He just needed to remember how to be brave.
He just needed someone to show him the world could be trusted. Safe.
(I cried when he was adopted.)
I cried when I realized I wished I’d had that love and care when I was growing up, when I was learning to be brave.
And this realization shifted everything.
The safer I feel in my body, the more I identify the wounds of my past. How, unintentionally, I was taught to be distrustful of myself and others.
Like Tiki, I have had years of not feeling like I could venture beyond a small space. I would be worried of being ignored or yelled at. I wasn’t sure what to expect, how to act, and what might happen if I made the wrong choice.
There was little room for me to settle into my unique self. I had to shift and change to stay as safe as I could. But if I’d had someone be patient with the person I was, it could have been different.
Thankfully, I can do that work now.
Tiki (and Isabel) taught me this:
Find your safe place - When you’re starting a healing journey, have a place where you feel safe so you can go back there when things feel too scary. And they will at first. I go to the ocean when I feel unsure and frightened.
Consistency builds trust - Not every day is going to be productive. I will still get reactive, make assumptions, and fall into pieces at the slightest tone shift. But when I keep showing up, when I keep sharing my feelings and putting what I learn into practice, I begin to trust I can handle these perfectly normal moments.
Cheese (or another reward) can help - Tiki would get cheese as a reward and as a motivator to step out into the world. While I couldn’t handle that much cheese, I reward myself with adventures, ice cream, kind words, and thrifting.
You deserve love, even now - Becoming brave doesn’t come with a rubric or a checklist to be loved. You can be loved right now. I can be loved right now.
Be patient - Finding courage takes patience and time. It won’t happen in a day. It will happen in small steps, unexpected missteps, tiny requests, truthful conversations, and a lot of compassion.
You will also need to surround yourself with humans who want the best for you. The ones who listen. The ones who hug you. The ones who remind you of how far you’ve come. The ones who point out when you’ve fallen back into habits you want to quit.
But if Tiki can do it, so can we all.
In love and magick — Irisanya
Things I Loved This Week
Tiki’s Story - If you’re not on TikTok, here’s a link to a story People did. Link. And here’s a link to the Muddy Paws Rescue if you want to support their work.
Ruth Culver’s diagram of nervous system responses alongside Internal Family Systems (IFS) ideas.
Hanging out at my favorite local coffee place, Brew with Emily from Wise Woman Witchery. Did we start to plan something? Of course.
Walking around Spring Lake Regional Park. I got to bring my friend from LA there and then catch up with another friend this week.
Classes & Events
July 20: Aphrodite, part of the Entering the Temple series, online
August 23: Artemis, part of the Entering the Temple series, online (registration opens in July, email to get on the waiting list)
August 31: One Day with the Norns - w Irisanya & George, Santa Rosa, CA
Connect & Support
Others ways to connect and support my work!
Reply to this email or go to my website. www.irisanyamoon.com.
Bookmark my bio.site: https://bio.site/irisanyamoon
You can find my books here, Bookshop, or at online booksellers. Or ask a local shop!
You can find out about my classes and workshops here.
My podcast interviews and chats are here.
My social media accounts are Facebook, Instagram, BlueSky, and TikTok.
Wanna support my work with cash money? Ko-fi
This really resonates. I, too, had a damaging childhood and am still finding my way to healing for some of those wounds. Remembering who I really am has been a big part of that journey, and it's helpful to be reminded of that regularly so I don't veer off in other directions. Thank you for being so open about your own journey. I honor your journey and the beautiful being you really are.