the way i am
notes on revolution(s)
Do what you are going to do, and I will tell about it.
—Sharon Olds—
The stars are arranged in ways they have never been in our lifetimes (Neptune in Aries). No one alive today has lived below these stories, and even if I didn’t know that, I feel it. Do you?
I found that Sharon Olds’ quote accidentally. She’s a poet who was my inspiration during college, as I wrote and shared my writing in a stereotypically musty classroom. We would read, and others would give feedback, mainly to boost our participation grade.
No one was listening for the afterglow of sharing things so personal, so tender and new and raw. The words I shared were carefully chosen, often confusing to everyone on the outside because you really had to be there to understand why the verb tense made sense.
You had to be there to know why the narrator was distancing themselves from what they really meant to say. It was safer to say less and hope no one noticed.
Poetry is ruthless like a dark forest.
Steeped in shadows that keep moving because light keeps moving.
And you need both light and dark to see what’s ahead.
Your truth deserves to be heard, held, and known.
And I know sometimes you can’t say everything you want to say aloud. Or maybe you don’t know how to phrase things or you think too hard about phrasing things so you can be heard. Maybe it takes so long to figure out what you mean that you end up not saying it at all.
If there is anything that helps me stay grounded, it’s this: being true to myself.
I’m not sure if I wrote about this before, but I once heard a podcast with Martha Beck in which she talked about how committing to being 100% truthful to herself changed her life.
This isn’t about being mean when you aren’t. Or taking on shame because lying is sometimes easier. Rather, when you can unburden yourself of stories that aren’t true, you can see who you are and you can tend to what you really need.
I am a better teacher and writer when I am truthful.
I am a better human and carer of myself when I am honest.
Last week, though I wanted to talk to my partner, I had to tell them I was too tired. And it meant it would be another week until we could talk (#longdistance). But I would also show up and be more present.
If you’re here to hear about magick, being true to who you are, what you need, and why you want something will empower your spells, charms, and intentions.
When you stop for a minute and ask, “Why am I doing what I’m doing?” You will know the best path to take. You can make better choices, call on the right deities, and have your energy be more aligned with your intention.
In a world that bends the meaning of truth again and again, in a world that gaslights in favor of personal gain over community care, you can be truthful to yourself. It’s a revolution to know that you can believe yourself and believe in yourself.
Maybe at the start or end of your day, write down five things that are true for you.
Here’s what mine would be right now:
My body is tired from too many nights of not sleeping.
I need to eat more vegetables.
I am not making enough time for screen-free living, which is likely because I’m avoiding dealing with some feelings.
I am happy with my writing.
I am anxious about paying bills because I lost my last consistent client.
All of this is true in this moment.
When I am truthful, I am empowered to respond to what is actually, really, happening.
When I am truthful, I know how to ask others for help, support, or something else.
Revolutions aren’t always loud.
But they are mighty.
In love and magick, Irisanya
Classes & Events
May 1: Applications are OPEN for Devoted to Her, Devoted to Self, my yearlong priestess/priestex training in love that starts in August 2025.
June 21 & 22: Pearl Pentacle Weekend Immersion - Santa Rosa, CA - with me, Sequoia, and AManita.
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Hi Irisanya -- I made a vow on Imbolc in Circle Cast two years ago that I would write what was true, as far as I know it. that vow is coming to fruition now as I enter into truly unfamiliar territory. But I'm started writing for the witchy people, the trans people, the neurospicy people, the people with disabilities and the people who are in the fight for liberation together, whatever our identities. I can't march or carry a megaphone anymore, but I can write was is true.
I can look at the grasshopper in my hand and watch her side-to-side jaws. I can contemplate the shifts of seasons and what they mean for the inside of our hearts, as well as our experience of the outer world. I can write about silence and speech. Leaning in to listen. The way I've almost killed my fern countless times, and how it comes back to me, over and over, such a good friend.
Thank you for inspiring me and reminding me of my mission and oath to Brigid. Keep going!