rejection happens (surprise!)

how i'm learning to navigate the ups and downs of putting yourself (and your heart) out THERE (and you can too!)

Irisanya Moon

Aug 09, 2026

0:00

-3:50

Failure is a greater teacher than success.
—Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run with the Wolves—

Maybe it’s the eclipse season coming up.

Maybe it’s the time of year.

Maybe it’s the inner work I’ve been doing.

Maybe it just is what it is.

But the past few weeks have included some unexpected rejections.

Submissions. Plans. Proposals.

It’s been a bit bruising, but not at first. So much is going the way I’d hoped, sometimes because of my direct participation. Sometimes not.

But bruises sometimes build over days. And you’re leaning over in the shower and see the colours have spread across your skin.

I learned early on in my writing career to not connect my worth to the words others liked (or didn’t like).

I realised early on that maybe the idea of the starving writer was less about money and more about validation.

(Note: external validation is AWESOME. I still want it. I still want to hear how/if my writing has impacted others.)

But back to rejection. It’s the piling on that feels personal for me. When one thing after another after another happens…my heart races. My skin pales. My chest tightens.

Add in more-than-one last minute cancellation and a few miscommunications and…it’s uncomfortable. It’s heavier.

And here comes: doubt.

To navigate these moments, I offer this:

Step away. Shut the computer, the phone, the brain. Get outside or under the blankets for a bit. You can’t escape what you’re feeling, but you can slow it down.
Take a breath. Just taking a few breaths can remind your body where you are. Here. Not over there in worst-case-scenario land. Not in the past where you should have made this or that ‘better’ decision. You are here.
Get upset and grateful. You are a complex human that can hold multiple feelings. Don’t try to favour one over the other. Be mad. Be thankful. Be sad. Be relieved. You don’t have to land on a better or more acceptable feeling. Be as you are.
Let it be one day. My biggest tip for a bad day is to treat it the way I treat a cold. For every day I feel like crap, I tell myself that tomorrow is likely going to be better. Now, it’s not always true, but, so far anyway, I have always healed. It just takes time. Maybe you will feel better tomorrow. Probably. So let this ouchy day just be for today.

Also, get away from social media. Everyone is sharing their highlights, not the work it took to get there. Not the anxiety they have about how many (or not) followers they have. Not the sleepless nights wondering if they are good enough or prepared enough or resourced enough.

Step away. Take a breath. Get upset and grateful. Let it be one day.

And, if you’re like me, do something that you know you’ll accomplish. I just did a load of laundry. I didn’t need to, but now it’s done. And I will have clean clothes to show for it.

in love and magick — Irisanya