I was reading up on the Full Moon in Leo that’s happening January 25th, around 9:54am Pacific, and one piece of writing called me out.
It said something to the effect of: you need to let life find you.
And I stopped when I read this because I had said something similar to a friend last night, as sort of an offhand comment or observation.
With all of the ways we run off to other things, with all of the ways we have differing goals and priorities and problems, it’s easy to be everywhere and yet nowhere.
How do we find home when we keep leaving?
When You’re Lost, Stop Moving
Maybe it’s because of the full moon or maybe it’s because I’m co-teaching a class on Devotion, but I’ve been thinking about presence. In this class, we asked folks to choose a focal point for their devotion during our time together.
I found my devotion wanted this name: Presence.
How can I be more present? How can I be more still? How can I stay in one place for a bit to let all of the lessons and wisdom find me and my bones?
It is loud in the world. It is easy to drown out these questions. They seem troublesome, bothersome, slowing.
They seem like more things I need to DO, to FIGURE OUT, to FIND.
But finding doesn’t mean I need to find other doors. Finding doesn’t mean I need to rush around. Maybe what I am seeking is, well, seeking me.
They say that if you are lost, you should stay in one place. When you wander too much, it becomes hard for someone to find you. Your movements can take you to places that you don’t recognize. Your movements can create more distance and confusion. For everyone.
How can I find myself again when I keep turning in circles?
How can I arrive when I keep packing my bags to leave?
What has been sitting on the doorstep, counting the moments until I return?
Hrm.
The Moment’s Doors are Flung Open
If you’ve been feeling this too, I have a few thoughts. I have a few possibilities in mind for myself for the next month-ish.
No new classes / nothing new to my schedule
No new books or resources
No new side quests
I want to know what it’s like to settle down on my own. I know how to do this on vacation, certainly, but when I’m left to my own everyday devices, I want to distract myself and get caught up in the next dopamine adventure.
What would it be like to journal and write about what I already have inside of me?
What would it be like to go back over my notes from my travels in 2023?
What might I find and learn and know from the person I have already been?
I guess we’ll see.
I imagine I will need to wrangle myself a bit to bring myself to the present moment. I imagine there will be missteps along the way.
But coming back to now sounds like an adventure.
And this moment’s doors are flung open and waiting with open arms.
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