devoted to regulation

bringing your attention back online

If there are no good people left in the world, I want to be the last one.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, via TikTok

Once upon a time, there was a moment where you didn’t exist. A moment where you hadn’t taken the first breath or even become a hope or possibility. That moment was liminal and unknown.

That moment was before all that has come, all that is now laid out before you to experience, understand, and acknowledge.

It took time for you to get here. It took a particular set of conditions.

It took time.

And here you are.

Maybe it feels heavier. Maybe it feels like an awful mistake. Or a nightmare.

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

Your feelings are valid. So valid.*

Feelings are expressed, largely, by physical sensations. This is why there are feelings wheels and why therapists keep asking, “And where do you feel that in your body?”

It’s the way the body works. Our stomachs tense when we’re anxious. My heart races when I’m afraid. My legs feel heavy when I’m sad.

And you might feel differently.

I bring this up because I’ve noticed people assigning ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to feelings across social media platforms.

• Why are you sad about the TikTok ban?

• You don’t need to be upset about <whatever the news reports>.

• Those fires are far away; why are you panicking?

The last week has been…a lot. And I know I’ve found myself bouncing along the spectrum of despair, rage, dissociation, empowerment, and more. Sometimes, I have all of those feelings in one hour.

A burning stomach that cools when I distract myself. A clear mind that clarifies where I want my attention. Repeat.

I want to provide you with tools, rituals, and more in these newsletters. And I want to hear what you are doing, how you are navigating, and where you feel lost.

I want you to remember that you are not alone. That your feelings are real. That I’m with you, even if we never meet in person.

I shared some things last week, but let’s get into more detail.

Regulate

I encourage you to find ways to slow yourself down, to reduce the cortisol flowing in your body. When I slow down, I can think clearly and make better decisions.

You can find many resources on regulating your nervous system, but here are a few:

• Step away from screens. Limit your time taking in new information. Find a news source summarizing the day’s events and check that once. I like AP News and PBS News Hour.

• Get out of the house. I like going into nature but just stepping outside for a few moments can be enough.

• Talk with a friend or a pet. Find the people in your life who will listen to you and validate how you feel. They should be people who can remain grounded, which allows you to co-regulate with each other. If you don’t have a person or pet, chat with a crystal or a tree.

• Allow your body to completely relax. This sounds great but it is often hard for me. I worry that if I relax TOO MUCH, I’ll miss a cue for danger. What helps me is to go to a place where I will not be interrupted, set a timer, and sink into relaxation for that time period. If I can relax for longer, great. If I can only do five minutes, perfect. The more I teach my body to trust this gift of relaxation, the more easily I sink into that state.

• Listen to soothing music. I personally like playlists on Spotify for Focus or Intense Studying. Or I like white or brown noise compilations.

• Attend to your body’s needs. This one takes practice, but it’s so so helpful. When you are tired, rest. When you are hungry, eat. When you need to use the bathroom, use the bathroom. When you teach your body that its needs will be tended to, it helps your body trust and release tension.

Maybe for this week, focus on finding out what helps you regulate. I’ll share more ideas next week (and you can share more in the comments) and if you message me or comment with questions or ideas, I’m happy to talk about them too.

It’s almost a new moon, so it’s time for something new, something to grow and take root. I think of building a foundation that helps me remain devoted to the things that are important at this moment.

Not everything can be important all the time. Choose what you focus on. Get grounded and steady. Then you can shift your focus to something else. Then you can show up more fully for yourself and others.

This is not all there is to do, certainly. And when you regulate your body, you expand your capacity for the next moment.

And the one after that.

In love and magick, Irisanya

*Note that your feelings might be valid, but how you act on them may be harmful to others or yourself. Create a moment to recognize whether your feelings require action or witnessing. If your body is loud and you’re not in danger, see if you can calm down before responding.

Quick Writing Update

Since folks have been asking, here’s what I’m writing:

• I wrote an article on the Norns for the Watkins MIND BODY SPIRIT magazine. (I have another article in this magazine coming out later in the year…shhh)

• I’m writing my Pagan Portals book on Athena one chapter at a time. You can find what I’ve written on the Pagan Collective blog.

• My website is currently being updated, so you might be unable to access it for a moment during the transition. It’s beautiful and shiny.

• I have a piece in the Girl God anthology, Lady of the Forge, available February 1.

• I finished my Pagan Portals book on Hecate at the end of 2024 and just got the final cover art. A beloved of mine created it. Can’t wait to share. That book won’t be out until 2026.

• I have proposed two new books with my publisher and have more in mind. I said I would take a break from writing new things, but part of my regulation practice is writing. And part of my activism is writing.

• I have a poem coming out in the Roses & Wildflowers journal in the Spring. Here’s a link to the Autumn 2024 issue.

There’s more, but here are upcoming classes and such:

Classes & Presentations

January 30: Ancient Goddesses, Modern Wisdom - ONLINE lecture with Lyceum Club.

February 7 - 11: Winter Witchcamp (hybrid) - teaching with Sparrow

Starts February 14 - Iron Pentacle with Aphrodite (online) - with Sequoia & Stephen - 6 weeks

Need something else? I’d love to help.

Reply to this email or go to my website. www.irisanyamoon.com. WEBSITE MIGHT BE DOWN AS IT’S BEING UPDATED.

You can find my books here, Bookshop, or online booksellers. Or ask a local shop!

You can find out about my classes and workshops here.

My podcast interviews and chats are here.

My social media accounts are Facebook, Instagram, BlueSky, and TikTok (?).