beltane becoming
(you always had the power to come home to yourself)
It’s Beltane in the northern hemisphere, and I am sitting on a couch in my apartment.
When I look around, I can see my cats: one is sleeping on a cushion by the window, and the other is perched on the range hood.
I have the heat on because this room is often chilly until the days are consistently warm, and it’s on a timer. As I wrote this, the sound of the forced air stopped. The dishwasher is running, the sound of water shifting and plates moving from the pressure punctuates this moment.
This doesn’t sound very magickal at first. Maybe it’s boring. But to me, it’s a moment of feeling very much present in my body and this world.
And that, to me, is Beltane too.
Yes to the sexy of dancing in the sun, to frolicking in the growing warmth, and to jumping over a small fire, hand-in-hand with beloveds.
And pleasure is also this moment. Simple and still.
Coming into my body, into the reality of a Thursday afternoon, where I slow down to notice. Where I don’t have to reach for a grounded breath. Where I don’t have to call myself back to myself.
I’m already here.
So many times I have gone on search parties to find myself, often in the reflections of another’s eyes.
See me.
Tell me I am here.
Remind me to breathe, to eat, to take care of myself.
Remember me so that I might remember myself.
Today is not for reintroductions; I know who I am. There is nothing more to do or to prove or to be. My pleasure, my joy, and my desire rest in my own arms.
I will not always feel like this. But right now, I do.
And here, ribbons wrap around each other without anyone having to spend hours measuring each one so it’s the right length.
There are rainbows of ribbons: healing, laughter, peace, desire, contentment, longing, grief, and love. And each moment brings them closer, an ever-tighter weave, a careful combination.
Love is here, now.
It always was.
xo Irisanya
PS - Today, I opened up applications for my year-long journey with Aphrodite and priestessing Love. I’d love for you to join me. Or share it with a friend. This devotional path offers solace and healing, presence and possibility. Priestessing Love is crucial for these times. www.tinyurl.com/aphrodite-priestess2025
I am in the process of splitting up with my spouse. “Is there Love available even here?” I ask myself. And the answer, of course, is always yes. And yet I’ve still have to ask with an open curious heart, ready to be surprised.
She is as much a part of me as breath.
A limited understanding of Aphrodite might say that She had cast me out, or some such thing. I know She is with me in this great transition and will continue to reveal Herself in me and outside of me as I deepen into our Devotion.
There’s so much more to say here. I look forward to reading more of your words about this upcoming course.
I sometimes think it’s the beauty in that simplicity that stokes the true fires of change. Blessed Beltane friend.