Once upon a time, I walked along a sloped hill after making a plaster mask with a rainbow across it. I wanted to celebrate my namesake, who was new to me at the time, and build a stronger relationship with the deity that dropped from the sky and into my life.
It sounded so easy. And so difficult.
What if I found out the deity didn’t like me?
What if I found out I couldn’t do what was being asked of me?
What if nothing happened?
It was a day of dropping into the divine, allowing them to emerge and take up space in my oh-so-willing body.
I whispered Her name, “Iris.”
And that’s when things got a little fuzzy, but also clearer.
It was the start of something magickal.
It was the start of stepping into the center of myself, taking the hand of the divine, and trusting in whatever happened next.
(And so much happened next.)
Dropping Down, Pulling Up
The practice of aspecting is something I’ve written about before. I’ve learned this in Reclaiming, a tool of service to the godds. Possessory work in which I compact my consciousness and send it into the earth for safekeeping.
The vacuum of space offers a home, albeit temporary, for the divine. The deity is called into the priestex.
Drawn down. Invited. Invoked. Welcomed.
Who I am still exists, what happens next is consensual.
Before the possession comes a conversation. These dialogues used to be more detailed, but with practice comes trust in self and spirit.
Are you willing to drop into my body and mind?
I offer you XX% of my body and mind.
Here is what you can do, what I ask of you. _______________
Here is what you can not do. At all. _____________________
Can you leave me the same or better for this experience?
When it is time to go, it is time to go.
In addition, there is a tender who watches over my body as it becomes home for a godd. This person is someone I trust, someone who knows my boundaries and understands what is okay—and what is not. They know when to step in and when to stand aside.
It might sound clinical, but acts of service require contemplation, boundaries, and strong containers. There is so much that can happen when the prior conversation is clear and direct. Surprises might still occur, but they will be within the realm of expectation and preparation.
The tender might do the calling in and the drawing down. They might be subtle or dramatic. I tend to do my own thing no matter what is happening around me. I’ve done this work before. I understand what needs to happen for this to happen.
What Happens Inside (for Me)
The first time I aspected, I was overwhelmed by the experience. I felt the divine tickle my insides, change my vision (truly), and inspire words I did not choose to say. And I did not remember much of it.
I felt powerful and glorious. I felt connected in ways I didn’t expect (for some reason).
It felt like the best first date, the one where you can’t stop talking and the night slips away. The one where you don’t want it to end, but it must end. The world still exists outside of that bubble of brilliance.
(Even if you don’t want it to.)
Since that time (maybe 2009?), I have aspected many more deities, many more times. Sometimes in public rituals, small groups, classes, witchcamps, trainings, and personal magicks.
It is a precious dance to be inhabited. To invite in that which wants so badly to have a body. To welcome in that which might show you things you can’t un-see and tell you things you can’t un-hear.
I’ve had all of these experiences. And others.
Iris. Cerridwen. Brigid. Ereshkigal. Inanna. Verdandi. Artemis. Hecate. Blue God. Black Annis. Demeter. Persephone. Many more. Many times.
I don’t say this to brag. I say this to say their names. To honor the places I have been.
One stands out.
Aphrodite.
(She always does.)
She Changes Everything She Touches…
The first time I aspected Aphrodite was in 2014, I think. It was in a class. We were getting to know each other. I was hesitant.
And then I was changed.
Her magick and love carved spaces in me, spaces that have been able to hold oceans of love and grief and wonder and beauty and rage and sadness and fear and joy.
The first time, I was hesitant to let Her go at the end of the night. My boundaries were unclear. I wanted Love inside of me so much that I held onto her energy for days. It gave me a migraine. It knocked me down. It humbled me.
What we love and what loves us must also be allowed to leave. Keeping a death grip on Love only cramps the hand and heart. Liberation isn’t just the practice of opening doors that have been locked, but also removing the lock itself.
I learned about relationships and relating. I stepped into spaces with more reverence and patience. I stepped into Love with the willingness to be wrong and loved anyway. I stepped into the mystery of being a human and the ease of letting that fall away sometimes.
But I always return.
…and Everything She Touches Changes
Over the years and experiences, this practice is different. While possessory work continues to be an act of service and honoring, it is also less formal for me. I still converse with deities to set up my boundaries, but I also recognize the trust I have in myself to be with whatever arrives.
To be clear and direct, but also an open and willing vessel.
Recently, I had an experience that prompted this whole piece. And while I hesitate to outline the details, for those are best left in my heart and in that moment, what I feel is important to share is this: there is less separation.
More integration. More embodiment that feels like a soft memory, like a slight shift of the eyes and voice. I don’t have to reach my arms out so far. I don’t have to hope that things work out.
Because the divine lives in me. Every day. Not just in the right conditions, the perfect circle casting, or when I remember the poetry I want to recite.
I stepped into the waters of Aphrodite, but I did not have to journey far.
I just had to remember.
I share this because I want you, someone else, everyone to remember the divine is closer than you think. The separation that is taught in modern society is a tool of oppression. It’s a tool of control and power over.
But it is not true.
You hold within yourself the keys to a lock that never existed.
You hold within yourself the ability to be held and to hold what is hard to define.
(But is anyone or anything that easy to define?)
You are divinity and power inherent. It doesn’t need to have a name or even an altar (but it could!).
You are what you seek from the divine: Love, Beauty, Power, Rage, Cunning, Courage, Joy, Peace, Grief, Wisdom, Potential, Myth, Connection, Clarity, and so much more. All that is celebrated and all that is uncomfortable to admit.
The godds are not without their jealousy, their miscommunication, and their stubbornness.
Allow yourself to step into these waters. Even a toe, a foot or a hand or the whole body where you might be cold and shaking because you are outside under a nearly full moon and it’s getting darker and darker.
Allow yourself to recognize yourself in the water.
Allow yourself to be blessed by the possibility that finding what is divine has never been about leaving.
It’s a spell of right here, right now.
***
Want to dive into divine relationships a bit more? I probably have a book or class for you. I write about forming relationships with deities, including Aphrodite, Iris, the Norns, Gaia, and Artemis, and soon Circe and Hestia.
And if you’re interested in something a little more intense, a little more Love-focused, I am opening up a year-long journey called Devoted to Aphrodite, Devoted to Self: From Longing to Love - A Year-Long Journey of Priestexing Love. Applications will start being accepted on May 1 at this link or you can find it on my website under Classes.
Beautiful piece, Irisanya. Thank you for your work.
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing! I've done what you call aspecting (what I call trance possession) for a long time, in several different traditions. Among other things, it has taught me how to identify and emphasize my own boundaries... which led to the realizations you put so eloquently about the lock that never existed. It's interesting how sometimes we have to step outside ourselves, and allow Someone Else in, so we can see who we really are.